Why VeXXed?

As women, we all move through phases in our life. Childhood. Teen angst. Early adulthood and the whirlwinds of university, travel, or marriage. Once children arrive, our entire focus changes, and our lives and identities shift to supporting the growth of our daughters and sons. Careers pause; our bodies soften; our identities are subsumed by our roles as caregivers. At the same time, we see our aging parents change from our once impervious role models to become more fragile or forgetful.

Yet for many women, midlife offers a sudden opportunity for personal and professional growth. Aging children, now more independent, require fewer physical supports. Careers that were once sidelined for day care pickups or parent council meetings are free to develop in new ways. Women have more time to explore hobbies or continued education. Identities that for years existed in relation to others become personal and intentional.

The VeXXed podcast began because we reached that phase in our lives. In conversations with other women, we realized that it wasn’t just us—many midlife women were coming to terms with this shift, and they had strong feelings about it.

And today, as midlife women (re)discover their identities, we’re struck by another challenge. What the hell is going on in the world? In the United States, abortion rights have taken a 50-year step into the past. The extreme right—rarely female-friendly—is gaining political ground. Social media is wreaking havoc on both politics and the mental health of our children. Add climate change, a global pandemic, economic downturn and a war in Europe, and our collective confidence in the future feels shaky at best.

Today’s midlife women—raised from birth to believe that we could “have it all”, are still reckoning with pay inequity, racial inequality, the MeToo movement, political opportunities, body image, and gender stereotypes. And those that choose to approach these challenges inclusively—supporting our BIPOC, LGBTQ2S+, non-binary or differently-abled counterparts, are now labelled as “woke” by our detractors (Umm, why is woke “bad”?). And as ever, women who raise their voices risk that age-old label: “shrill.”

Well, so be it. It’s time to embrace our shrill, woke midlife identities. VeXXed is about turning the spotlight on the issues that make politically and socially conscious women in their 40s and 50s frustrated, angry and exhausted. Sometimes charged and occasionally light-hearted, VeXXed will tackle the topics discussed over coffee, on text chains and between friends. Collectively, we want to use our identities to move beyond frustration, anger and exhaustion to awareness, understanding and action.

And since we’re not alone, we’ll be talking to guests to get greater insight into their areas of expertise or on topics that require lived experiences that go beyond our inherent biases.

So, what’s VeXXing us? This podcast will explore themes including:

Careers

• Body Image & Autonomy

• Health & Mental Health

• Aging Parents

• Parenting

• Politics

For example, we’ll explore what happened to the Pussy Hat—the pink knit caps that exploded into global consciousness after evidence surfaced of then-presidential candidate Donald Trump bragged about sexually assaulting women, yet was still elected to office. The hats were ubiquitous at the 2017 Women’s March on Washington, D.C., but later criticized for not representing transgendered women or women of colour.

VeXXed will discuss midlife career growth, shifts and anxieties. For many women, their 40s and 50s are tainted by a sense that they are fast approaching their expiry date. And no wonder—the ageist and sexist dismissal of Lisa LaFlamme as lead anchor of CTVNews underscores that any woman going grey—regardless of her experience and stature—has a target on her back.

We’ll delve into sleep (or the lack thereof) common to our age group. How is it that once our kids are finally old enough to sleep through the night—we can’t?! What’s behind this frustrating somnolescent shift? How can we cope during our perpetually sandy-eyed days? And we’ll recommend our favourite audio sleep stories, which sometimes do the trick…

And we plan to have some fun, too! We’ll talk fashion, music, movies, food, exercise—just maybe don’t expect your usual recommendations. Society might think that all middle-aged women want to watch Eat Pray Love on repeat, but we’re living proof that saccharine plots and dreamy male love interests are not the extent of what our demographic enjoys. We’re here for the female-led action flicks (especially those directed by women), the dark comedies and the dystopian sci-fi. Handmaid’s Tale, anyone? And while we’re done with stilettos and underwire bras, we are not ready for polyester and support hose—so what do midlife women really think about fashion and its partner-in-crime: body image? We’ll talk honestly about our expectations, frustrations and insights now that we’re WOMEN OF A CERTAIN AGE.

So…that’s what VeXXed is. Here’s what we're not: exclusive, judgmental or unaccountable. We want to include many ideas and voices in our podcasts and blogs, so let us know what’s VeXXing you. We want to hear from women with a wide breadth of lived experiences, and we believe your voices are relevant and deserve to be heard. And we’re also human and bound to either make mistakes or trip over our own limitations. When that happens, we want to hear from you so that we can understand our errors, learn from them and share accurate information in the future. This is especially important in areas of social justice, inequity and reconciliation. We understand that this platform is a privilege and a responsibility, and we take that seriously.

We’re looking forward to taking this journey with you. Feel free to add comments or send us your ideas for future podcasts—we’d love to hear from you!

XX

Carla & Nicolle